Our last Sangha of the school year everyone brings "something" to share...prose, poetry, art, music. We call it a "Sangha Potluck." In between each sharing we invite the bell and practice mindful breathing. Below are the offerings from my dear Sangha brothers and sisters...each item touched my heart and I left Sangha filled with deep gratitude for having been a part of this community for 5 years.

I hold my heart in the hands of this moment. This moment, just as it is, holds me, just as I am. We hold our hearts in the hands of this moment. This moment, just as it us, hold us, just as we are. We hold our hearts in the hands of this moment. This moment, just as it us, holds all, just as it is.

A month before 9/11 a group of teachers gathered at my school to start what has now evolved into a very well known Educator Sangha in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh. During my past 5 years in India this Sangha has been a very important part of my life. In fact, in my job interview back in February of 2006 I shared with my Director that I was a Dharma practitioner and when he told me that a group of teachers at his school had a Sangha I knew it was where I needed to be! In many ways, the Sangha is my refuge, especially after a chaotic school day! My Sangha colleagues serve as mindfulness bells throughout the day and I feel blessed to work with other practitioners.

In September of 2008 we traveled to Dehradun to go on retreat with our teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh. He requested that we write about our experiences from the retreat to share with other educators and this "Mindfulness Report" can be found below. Today, I led this Sangha for the last time and presented them with a framed leaf from the Bodhi tree in Anuradhapura, Sri Lanka, A few years ago, after a trip to Bodh Gaya I presented my Sangha with a framed leaf from there as well.  I guided my Sangha in a meditation on "looking deeply" from Blooming of a Lotus found below. This meditation is inspired by the Lotus Sutra and the Avatamsaka Sutra. Before we began I gave everyone a leaf, first led a short meditation on our hands and then had everyone look at and feel their leaf.

After the meditation, during our Dharma Discussion, one of my beautiful colleagues shared a song that came to her: "I hold my heart in the hands of this moment. This moment, just as it is, holds me, just as I am." When we shared the fruits of our practice during our closing "metta" we sang her song and she added the following lines: "We hold our hearts in the hands of this moment. This moment, just as it us, hold us, just as we are. We hold our hearts in the hands of this moment. This moment, just as it us, holds all, just as it is."

Before our closing one of my dear Sangha brothers stood up and had our Sangha gather around me in a circle. As everyone held me he said the most beautiful things but what I remember most is when he told me "I am the leaf." As tears rolled down our faces I hugged everyone..."No coming. No going. No After. No Before. I hold you close to me. I release you to be so free. Because I am in you. And you are in me." 

As I was leaving Sangha one of my dear friends asked when I was packing out and I told her the shippers were coming in less than 11 days. She shared with me that she has a large, beautiful Buddha painting that she got in Thailand and a few days ago after her meditation she looked at the painting and she saw my eyes and lips in the Buddha painting! She thinks she is supposed to give me the painting! A few weeks ago another Sangha friend had a dream that I was having a really big party in my new home...I guess that means my move back to California is a good thing :) I still can't believe that after 5 years I am leaving India in about 22 days! This time in India has been such a gift but I know in my heart it is just time for the next "avatar." As I drove home after Sangha I followed my breath and listened to one of my favorite closing practices in the Plum Village/Thich Nhat Hanh tradition which you can listen to below :)

Looking Deeply

Aware of myself picking up a leaf, I breathe in.

Touching the wonderful interdepenendent nature of that leaf, I breathe out.

Picking up leaf

Interdependent nature

Aware of myself alive here and now, I breathe in.

Touching the wonderful interdependent nature of life in me and around me, I breathe out.

Alive here, now

Interdependent life in and around me

Aware of the leaf returning to the earth and arising as a new leaf, I breathe in

Seeing the leaf in ten thousand different forms of birth and death, I breathe out.

Leaf to earth, earth to leaf

Ten thousand different forms

Aware of myself as a part of the wonderful, interdependent existence, I breathe in.

Seeing that I become manifest under many different forms, I breathe out.

Part of wonderful, interdependent existence

Many different forms

Seeing that the leaf is not really born, does not really die, but only appears to be born and die, I breathe in.

Seeing that I do not really pass through birth and death but only appear to, I breathe out.

Leaf only appears to be born and to die

I only appear to be born and to die

Seeing that the leaf has a nirmanakaya and functions everywhere, I breathe in.

Seeing that I have a nirmanakaya and function everywhere, I breathe out.

Leaf functions everywhere

I function everywhere

Seeing that the leaf has accomplished its work from beginningless time,I breathe in.

Seeing that I have accomplished my work from beginningless time, I breathe out.

Leaf's work beginningless

My work beginningless

Seeing that the leaf is already what it wants to become, I breathe in.

Seeing that I am already what I want to become, I breathe out.

Leaf already is

I already am

Seeing that the leaf can call up all its nirmanakayas from beginningless time, I breathe in.

Seeing that I can call up all my nirmanakayas from beginningless time, I breathe out.

Leaf's beginningless transformation

My beginningless transformation.

This morning I ran into a colleague who is teaching my dear friend/mentor, Satish Kumar's book, You Are, Therefore I Am, in her International Relations course for 11th and 12th graders.  I noticed she was photocopying a selection on Interbeing from Thich Nhat Hanh's Peace is Every Step to complement her class discussion on Satish's book. I was able to share with her that I also introduce the concept of Interbeing to my 6th graders and sent her some of my 11 year old student responses to show her students which you can see above!

More than five years ago in a job interview in Boston I told my now Director that I was a "Dharma Practitioner" and was primarily interested in moving to India to support my spiritual path. He smiled and said to me, "Well, I think you have found the right school, we have an Educator Sangha!" Little did I know that the Sangha was in the tradition of my now teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh :) Working with fellow practitioners has been such a gift and every Tuesday I look forward to our gatherings at 5pm. Throughout the day when I see my fellow Sangha brothers and sisters they serve as mindfulness bells, reminding me to breathe, stop, look deeply and come back to the present moment. Below are "Sanngha Essentials" that may help you when leading a community of practice.

Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself. - Thich Nhat Hanh

There is a lot of research on the extraordinary number of decisions that a teacher has to make in any moment. Apparently, we make more decisions than a brain surgeon! On average teachers make 130 critical decisions per hour and these are only decisions we make in the classroom. Today was beyond hectic for me. The end of the year is looming, my day was packed with meetings, sensitive student concerns and if I didn't take time to do some "toilet meditation" (mindful breathing while doing my business) I don't know how I would have made it through! The "time ins" I take throughout my day to connect back to "myself" help me make better decisions by "pausing" and "looking more deeply" into the situation. I still have a long way to go but I see how the practice helps me act more skillfully with students and colleagues. Thankfully, after my crazy day I could be nourished in our Educator Sangha. When I connect to my breath I am able to suspend my thinking and touch a place of peace inside myself. During our Dharma discussion one of my colleagues shared how when the waves are very turbulent we can always dive deep into the ocean of peace we have inside. I held this image close to my heart because the past weeks have been so very challenging for me. Not only is work incredibly hectic but I'm trying to map out my return to the US, my mother's health is ailing and I'm tying things up here after 5 years and it seems like the busiest time of my life! My teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, encourages us to cultivate the healing energy of mindfulness so we can embrace and transform our suffering...much like when a mother holds a crying baby. Diving below the turbulent waves and trusting in the ocean that lies deep within myself is just what I need now :)

Breathing in, I smile to the ocean of peace in me. Breathing out, I trust in the ocean of peace. Smiling. Trusting. 

This morning a Dharma friend who is also an educator sent me a beautiful article about "getting in touch with our inner student." The article is an excerpt from a book that provides tips for Middle School teachers. The author, Heather Wolpert-Gawron writes: “Remember, who we were as students may contribute to the people we are now, but it isn’t set in stone. Keep in mind that all kids of all ages are fully in the throes of a developmental process that guarantees they will make mistakes and bad decisions. A teacher, a great teacher, helps them learn from their missteps, shake off the guilt of having made them, and moves them ever closer to being the person they have the potential to be.” 

The article also made me see the relevance and importance of a meditation adapted from The Blooming of a Lotus I occasionally do before teaching:

Seeing myself as a twelve-year old child,

I breathe in.

Smiling to the twelve year-old child in me,

I breathe out.

Myself twelve years old

Smiling

Seeing the five year-old as fragile

and vulnerable, I breathe in.  

Smiling with love to the twelve year-old child

In me, I breathe out.

Twelve year-old

Fragile

Smiling with love

It's been a challenging few days and the whirlwind of parent teacher conferences are about to begin...For some reason it seems as if even the tiniest thing right now feels like too much. Heavy rains in October resulted in the flooding of the campsite we usually take our 7th graders to in Rishikesh near the Ganges river. Our trip was rescheduled, we leave in a week and just so much needs to "get done" before then. Time periods just like this are when the practice of mindfulness means the most to me. The breaths I take on the toilet, mindful sips of tea, or my mindful steps up the stairs to my classroom rejuvenate me so I can be awake to the beautiful smiles of my students. These moments nourish me when I can easily feel just too overwhelmed. On Tuesday I had a Doctor's appointment and was determined to make it to our Educator Sangha even if I would be late. When I arrived back at school it was 20 minutes into Sangha but just as I arrived my dear Sangha brothers and sisters were doing walking meditation in our organic garden. I took off my shoes and as my feet "kissed" the earth I felt just so happy. When I engage in walking meditation my thinking mind "suspends," I feel the grassy ground massaging my feet and I just feel so peaceful and appreciative of the nature around me. During our Dharma Discussion my dear friend/colleague, Jann, shared the reading above which she heard on NPR. Remembering that "there is more to life than my life" reminds me that the things I can potentially obsess about really aren't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

Conferences are about to begin....Breathing In :)

Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings stress that we are a continuation of our ancestors (blood, spiritual and land). A practice that emphasizes this is "Touching the Earth." Today I decided to lead our Educator Sangha through a practice of "Touching the Earth." The attached recording is one of the guided meditations from the "Touching the Earth" book (it's my voice!) As the only person of color in my Sangha I wanted to share with them the beautiful documentary, Colors of Compassion, which highlights a retreat Thich Nhat Hanh led for People of Color in 2004 at Deer Park in San Diego. The film was a gift to me from my dear friend, Sister Jewel (Chau Nghiem) during our mindfulness in education programs in India this past November and I've placed a clip above. The film itself brought tears to my eyes when I watched it and it emphasized that we practice for our ancestors. While I was born in the United States, India is my spiritual and ancestral homeland so engaging in "Touching of the Earth" here takes on a very special meaning. Below are the lyrics from a beautiful song that reminds me that when I practice I practice for my whole family. 

My mother, my father, they are in me,
and when I look, I see myself in them.
The Buddha, the Patriarchs, they are in me,
and when I look, I see myself in them.
I am a continuation of my mother and my father.
I am a continuation of all my blood ancestors.
It is my aspiration to preserve and continue to nourish
Seeds of goodness, seeds of skill, seeds of happiness
which I have inherited.
It's also my desire to recognize
the seeds of fear and suffering I have inherited,
and bit by bit, to transform them, transform them.

I am a continuation of the Buddha, and the Patriarchs.
I am a continuation of all my spiritual teachers.
It is my deep aspiration
to preserve, develop, and nourish seeds of understanding,
seeds of love, seeds of freedom which they have transmitted to me.
In my daily life, I also want to sow seeds of love and
compassion in my own consciousness and in the heart of other people.
I am determined not to water the seeds of craving, aversion, and violence in me.
I am determined not to water the seeds of craving, aversion, and violence in others.
With resolve and with compassion, I give rise to this aspiration:
May my practice be an offering of the heart.
May my practice be an offering of the heart.

In our Educator Sangha we practiced "blind contour drawing" where we drew our hand without looking at the paper. Before we drew we meditated on our hands and it was the first time in ages I really felt gratitude for my hands and looked deeply to see my ancestors in my hands. My colleague who was leading Sangha is an Art Teacher and she always does this activity with her students. It was refreshing to do something different in Sangha that also really focused on being present, awake and alive. This meditative practice reminded me of how important it is to create spaces in schools where these types of experiences are truly valued and creativity is encouraged. During the activity I was able to let go of "getting it right" and just enjoyed trying to capture my hands. When we finished my colleague asked us to find at least 1 line of truth in our "blind contour drawing" and I surprised myself by being able to find a few. 

Today in Sangha we practiced loving kindness meditation. I always find this an incredibly powerful practice. When it came time to meditate on someone we find particularly difficult the first person that came to mind was a challenging student. I've been working so hard with this fella, have never raised my voice and try my best to be skillful with him but he's a tough one and his classmates have just about had it with him--he's the most attention seeking student I've had all year. After I have him I just feel exhausted. Spending time focusing on this student and his needs was extremely helpful. He's attention seeking for a reason and just like all of us he's a product of his circumstances and needs love. This practice of sending him loving kindness has nourished my relationship with this child and I look forward to seeing his beautiful face tomorrow :)

Open my heart

Let holy love flow through me

Center my soul

Upon the path of peace

Make of my life

A melody worth singing

Hallelujah O Great One

Hallelujah

Close to 10 years ago, our Educator Sangha began. Yesterday, I led our Sangha through a meditation involving the voices of some of my students on mindfulness. Above are some of my Sangha's responses and below are some clips from our Dharma Discussion. Thanks to all members of my Global Sangha that sent me their feedback/reflections from the student voices to help inform my "teacher research."